Tuggie Boat((:

:O

2011-04-16T07:23:00.000-07:00

I'm very tired, hahaha, I don't think I can take round 2 anymore.

it's you, it's you, you make me sing.

2011-04-05T01:29:00.001-07:00

APs are coming!!!! Gotta start taking my work see-ree-ous-ly already. :) I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, moving nowhere, and I've got to finish up all my work and meet all my short-term deadlines before I can really start mugging for the exams.

On the bright side, I can't wait for exams to be over - the ASH Little India trip (where we're gonna buy our saris for racial harmony day hehe), and I badly need to finish my Holga film since I haven't had the opportunity to go out since forever! Besides, our 602 clique needs to go on our exploring Singapore for good food adventure :D We've been talking about it last year, but have never had the chance to carry it out. Anyway, I hope there's 407 chalet too :D this year'd better not be an exception, I'm kinda looking forward to just slacking and catching up with everyone there - the bunch of people who can tolerate all my nonsense and are willing to do the craaaaziest things together just for the sake of it :D

It's the only motivation that's keeping me holding on. :D It's been a mad week for me, otherwise. Hahah I've just wasted one week coming back to square one - and it's kinda frustrating to think that I'm back in the same spot, I could have saved all my time and energy! But I guess sometimes God puts detours in our lives so we could learn something out of it :3 I don't know what the lesson is this time, but I've definitely learnt to pray before making an important decision!

I hope I haven't wasted too much time since the beginning of the year already :( I'll try my best and leave the rest to God :D

dum dee dum

Hello world :)

2011-03-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

Hahah I haven't posted a public post (that isn't password-protected) for quite a while already! For various reasons, namely, being lazy :D and not having much things to say here anyway. :D I don't know who exactly still bothers to read this, so yup :)

We had english summative and 2.4 run yesterday :O And the sun was sooo terrible it gave me a headache afterward :/ Hahah so I slept at 8pm yesterday..........for a total of 15h of sleep today :) I'm such a pig I should be ashamed of myself. But it feels really good to sleep for so long, wake up, realise it's still dark, and go back to sleep again :D

I think I use too many emoticons. Hmm mock APs are coming up really soon! And not to mention the real APs and the SATs I signed up for - and we've got a gazillion tests/quizzes/project deadlines too! For some reason I'm quite excited for our talent search semi finals this saturday! I hope my wedges don't cause mega blisters on my feet again :) I should really be getting back to studying and drawing our bio project video stuff now.

Hahah I need to get my life back on track, seriously. I'm losing focus ):

The list of priorities

2011-02-01T07:39:00.000-08:00

All jumbled up.

2 hands, 1 heart, 1 life.

2011-01-10T07:05:00.000-08:00

Lord, make me more like You. I want to be thankful for all You've given me, for this house, this family, these friends, this school, this country, everything. Instead of sitting around and complaining about what I do not have, and ignoring all the blessings You have poured out onto me.
But Lord, at this point, I'm still struggling with so many things.. It's making me unhappy and I can't explain why. Tell me what to do, show me the right way, please.

give me just three minutes.

2010-12-17T20:05:00.000-08:00

TAIWAN WAS AWESOME

HONG KONG WAS AMAZING

YOUTH CAMP COMING UP.

hahahah. Dear God please give me the strength to hold on... help me not to lose what i have.

If you fall for me, I'm not easy please.

2010-10-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

Currently talking to a friend, and the things we have discussed are heavy on my heart. What if things don't work out the way we hope they will - and we know of course, that we will have to face these one day - will we lose the friendships we have worked so hard together to forge? What if our lively conversations turn to awkward silences and empty stares, and we become nothing more than a ring of strangers staring mutely at each other? Certainly, it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all. But I liked it so much when everyone could talk to everyone, when there was no awkwardness between anybody. Like it too much to let go of it, to know that it might possibly disappear like a wisp of smoke between my fingers.

And of course you you you you, who are on my mind, flitting like a shadow between the spaces of my thoughts. I enjoy everything we have - but you come to me like a weary laden traveller, standing in the middle of my sitting room, holding your bursting baggages. My love will not let you go out, back into the cold out there, but you are not as dependent on me as I'd imagine you are. Your luggage, too heavy for me to lift, stands between us - I stretch my hands across them to hold you - but how long can our sore arms last? How much longer can we hold on? I brush the snowflakes from your hair, please stay a while. The room is so much rosier, cosier, warmer when you are around.

We were both empty hearts.

2010-10-24T04:37:00.000-07:00

SO MANY THINGS have happened lately, I can barely catch my breath! The good side is that exams are over :) And that I've been able to hang out with 407 more often - it's really fun to be able to slack around and catch up and stay out late at night! Although it really messes up my sleep cycle :P And chalet was awesome fun too. The bad side is that every single day is perpetually packed to the max for me - and because of my zero time management skills - I end up really very tired and spread too thin in a dozen areas. Hahah.

Last night's mini outing to west coast park after boarding dinner was a nice fresh relief. It was quite wonderful to be sitting out there listening to the sea, and looking at the glittering reflections on the sea (despite the haze, rawr) and just talking to a bunch of amazing people. We were mostly talking nonsense though! :3 Most of the conversation topics of last night have to be censored though, too bad :P

You aren't always what I hope you'll be - sometimes you get too irritated with me, or become too irritating yourself, can't tell what I'm feeling, don't take hints. But I know you're trying your best as much as I am (I hope) and that's enough for me. :) Because I'm not going to try to fit a triangle peg into a round mould - we've talked about it before :) I'm afraid I might be putting a little too much of my heart into this (and so quickly, especially after I intended to carry on my new year's resolution of not falling in love until the time was right which meant university HAHAH) but I trust God will take care of this, and of us too.

If my heart had wings.

2010-09-15T05:01:00.000-07:00

Perhaps there have been too many empty spaces inside of me, that I've been trying to fill with everything and anything unsatisfying, not realising that all this while, the one that I've been looking for is You.

rawr.

2010-08-31T07:19:00.001-07:00

I haven't felt so embarrassed for a very very very very very very long time already!!! Ugh. Okay I should just go do my work. D:

Teenage dream;

2010-08-22T09:09:00.001-07:00

These few weeks have been busyyy but good! :) Although my time management skills are kinda dwindling, seriously. This afternoon was spent at the piano with bel, who was helping me with some improvisations on the piano (: I haven't played for worship for so long already! Hahah, except for helping my mentees occasionally, other than that I'll just be sitting at the side and counting for them :D

It was good to play the piano again. All the excuses I make about not having time.. :/ Mm and it was so awesome. At first, we went through it normally, and I played it like I would've at any normal worship prac. And then bel asked me to sing out possible improvisations, then write out dynamics, and finally.. to think about what I felt while worshipping God with that song. (Empower Me)

Then we tried it out at the piano again. It was like, wow. Breakthrough. It sounded so so different, I almost couldn't believe it. In a good way of course (: It's days like these that make me thankful and grateful for everything I have.

And, this, is what I have owed you for a really long time (: Click me, you know who you are.

Let's run away and don't ever look back!

No more angst. :D

2010-08-14T07:20:00.000-07:00

Hahah I'm finally blogging again, because someone asked me to! Hmm this will be a really random post since I don't really know what to talk about. :/

This week has been pretty good so far though :D it's been busy, but in a good way since I've been slightly more productive than usual. Hehe and having Monday and Tuesday as holidays definitely helps! Went to watch Salt in the cinema, and it was pretty disappointing - like, everyone turned out to be Russian? And only the action was worth watching I guess. Rawr.

Mmm and yesterday's english was super fun too! 'cause everyone in class simply refused to do AQs, Ms Dass allowed us to play Ghost - and it was very very hilarious. "Umbilicating" I can't believe we managed to trick the next group into believing there was such a word! Not bad, I think 502 is getting more and more bonded yay. I guess stuffs like that take time. :D Oh, and we played class captain's ball too, the girls' team beat the guys!!! Hahah.

Anywayyy I finally ran my long overdue 2.4! I ran for the 1st and last round, and walked 4 rounds - and I still passed wow. I can't believe how lazy I am for this year's PE-related stuffs since I intended to fail in an extremely glam way by walking the entire thing, but I guess I simply couldn't disappoint my supporters and all the lovely friends who jogged with me:D

I hope Ji Eun feels better soon! (: Although I doubt she will read this, but I really hope she stays in hostel this coming week. xD

Andandand I can't wait for my photos from the film camera to be developed! If they turn out well enough, (or even if they don't), I'll bring them to Tioman. Hahah, I've heard so many wonderful stories about how fun everything is, except the kampung-hut-rooms, and how the beaches are pretty and you can see shooting stars at night there. Ming yan and I are gonna wake up early to gaze at stars :) I really hope I can wake up early, given my record of turning off alarms and going back to sleep on school mornings. O:

Hmm everything has been entirely random and quite disjointed, but here is the post you want anyway :3

too tired for words.

2010-08-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

Today was really amazing, but oh-so-tiring as well.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm giving up too much -
just for you,
just for this,
which is really
nothing at all.

There was never anything to begin with. Maybe I'll find a better more awesome person than you. I really can't do this, I can't hold on to nothing. Let's just stop this bullshit.

JAY CHOU CONCERT!

2010-07-30T08:22:00.000-07:00

I'm kinda losing the motivations to blog, hmm. Anyway, here goes a post about the Jay Chou Concert that we attended last saturday!

It was really awesome, 'cause all 3 of us got there just in time when the queue was short to buy all the overpriced Jay Chou merchandise :D Hehe Wei Jin got the combo set of the T-shirt, some metallic blue shopping bag, a fan, the super cool lightstick, and a set of overpriced folders as well. :) I bought the Jay Chou ring and his folders (quite on impulse) and Chin Wen got the ring only.

Hahah after that, we lugged the awfully huge poster to Kallang Leisure Park for a light dinner.. and in order to kill time, I bought yoghurt from Yoguru and the guys went to shop around NTUC for snackszz. :D Subsequently, Wei Jin and I started laughing about nothing at all! It was quite ridiculous, 'cause the smallest things would trigger us off, and we'd stand there laughing till our jaws ached. Chin Wen, on the other hand, was quite devoid of humour and I think he simply couldn't understand what the both of us were laughing about!! Hahah, oh wells. :/

Anyway the photos that we took are really epic! Like the face that I made that looks exactly like ****** (not in a flattering way) and Wei Jin's funny expressions that I don't know how to describe. And I loveeee the poster too :) The time and effort spent on it was really worth it! It was quite absurd how we filled in the hanyupinyin beside the chinese characters too - the irony being that Jay Chou is Taiwanese.

The concert started 45 minutes late but the special effects and the encore more than made up for it. There was a magic show going on, so many guest star appearances, and the dancing and miming and THE VOCALS were amazing. Seriously. We were the only enthusiastic people in our section though, taking loads of photos before the concert started, and never once staying in our seats. :D Jay Chou sounds and looks so much better live!! And he was really cool even when there were slip-ups during the concert, such as dropping his microphone. xD

And of course, he made the crowd go wild when he changed the lyrics of his songs to suit the Singaporean context! Singing about bakuteh and his stay here and what-not. JAY CHOU IS SO AWESOME HAHAH, I feel very high just thinking about the concert already!! (: He sang most of my favourite songs, although I can't read the chinese lyrics faster than he sings (shhhh) so I'm a happy happy girl already. :)

Anyway, after the concert, we were walking like drunkards down the road and singing at the top of our voices. :D Managed to catch the circle line train for the last train to Joo Koon, thank God!! It was past midnight by then, and we.. ran.. like we have never run before.. for that train. I think I might have even sprinted. :O

Okay, photos will do the rest of the story telling. Credits to Chin Wen and his 12 megapixels camera which he is so prouddd of. :)

I am very lazy to type captions for all the pictures. :) Okay, I'm quite determined to study hard this weekend!! I even brought all my files home, which I don't normally do. It's so that I'll have time to go out next week, and spice up my life a little. I really need a break of non-stop continuous studying in hostel and in school. Rawr.

Andandand they cancelled the Taipei Girls' Exchange Trip ))))): I was so disappointed when they told us!!!! The girls were supposed to come over on this tuesday, and I was looking forward to the year end trip there too, ugh. Sigh nevermind, I guess it can't be helped huh! Thankyou to everyone who listened to me rant and whine and be emo about it for one entire night. :) Hahah, okay it's midnight now.

Goodnight! (:

would you be able to..

2010-07-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

Know what I'm thinkin'?

insipid reflections.

2010-07-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

Feel like giving up on everything we've got. I'm so tired. I'm so incredibly tired.

It was discontent men who changed the world.

2010-07-11T23:43:00.000-07:00

I just realised that I haven't talked about current events in my life for agesssss!! So here's a quick update on what has been taking place for the past week. :D

Thursday:

Volunteering at TTSH! I lost track of time after playing soccer/frisbee/air hockey/pool with Serene, Ming Yan and Wei Jin, so basically, I had to rush to shower and change after PE. Hahaha, Shengze and I proceeded there together and we talked alot of random nonsense about other people, and I got completely ripped off at Quiznos Sub ): Like $2.70 for a small cup of soup?! But I didn't have a choice so I drank every drop up. :D

Anyways, we went around singing (cause I was so tired, I didn't feel like doing befriending) and we met this really cool old man who actually corrected our singing. O: Turned out that he was some professional classical singer who performed in musicals and we got him to sing a bit for us. But he's super opinionated, and we talked to him for a short while. :)

Friday:

407 Outing + Farewell Party for Niel! We went to Iluma to catch Despicable Me, and it's the cutest show ever. I was squealing over the three little girls, and it's such a feel-good movie, I loved the ending as well. Vector is so geeky and nerdy, he could have been from our school. HAHAH.

Anyway, I got a headache after the show.. But we still headed down to Bukit Batok 'cause we wanted to play LaserQuest initially! It was fully booked, though, and we played pool and ate ice cream instead. I hope Niel liked the poster and the coasters that we made for him, and I hope he was really touched. (He'd better be, considering the amount of time and effort that we put in rawr.)

In any case, I went back to TTSH to meet Jia Qiang and we visited the old man again. As usual, we couldn't seem to find the right words at first, and it was awfully hard to talk to him, but he did most of the talking himself - telling us about his past, and about books that he read, and the book that he's working on.

I didn't know what it was that made me want to go back and talk to him - perhaps, he inspired me? And maybe, just maybe, it's a form of escapism - to talk to someone about another alternate world that's made out of poetic words strung together and works of fiction. Nevertheless, it was a good session :D And we left after about an hour and took the MRT back. Hahah, I learnt quite alot of random stuff like how half of hwachong's population doesn't speak chinese, and the most effective way to memorize bio is to read it on Day 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 21, 21, 21, 21, 21. :)

Saturday:

Michael Card came to our church for a concert! I thought I would be bored at first, since only the older generation aka the adults listen to his songs and stuff, but I was wrong. Like, really really wrong. He wowed everyone with his awesome instrumentals and vocals (definitely) and he had a great sense of humour too! :D

I really liked the part especially that he talked about how God will always claim His lost possessions, and He will come looking for us, even when we're lost. And how, sometimes, God uses sufferings to draw us closer to Him, for when we feel the most abandoned by Him, it could be the time that He was using us the most. Yup, lots of spiritual food for thought. :)

Sunday:

Youth sunday!!! It was really awesome, I thought the entire worship team did a really great job leading worship. Did ushering for the first time too, Vanessa, Ian and I were taking turns to stand in the air con and slack. :D

Chink and I had a good talk about well, parents and friends and everything else in between. And we came to realise that we have alot of things in common hohoho. I'm not sure if that's even a good thing but yeap. Somehow I'm sure things will work out for you dear (:

Okay, it's time to studyyy. Bye world (:

One more goodnight, but not farewell.

2010-07-11T09:35:00.000-07:00

So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew
near--

"Ah," said the fox, "I shall cry."

"It is your own fault," said the little prince. "I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . ."

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"But now you are going to cry!" said the little prince.

"Yes, that is so," said the fox.

"Then it has done you no good at all!"

"It has done me good," said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields." And then he added:

"Go and look again at the roses. You will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. Then come back to say goodbye to me, and I will make you a present of a secret."

The little prince went away, to look again at the roses.

"You are not at all like my rose," he said. "As yet you are nothing. No one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. You are like my fox when I first knew him. He was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But I have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world."

And the roses were very much embarassed.

"You are beautiful, but you are empty," he went on. "One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you - the rose that belongs to me.
But in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that I have watered; because it is she that I have put under the glass globe; because it is she that I have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that I have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that I have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or ever sometimes when she said nothing. Because she is my rose."

And he went back to meet the fox.

"Goodbye," he said.

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are
responsible for your rose . . ."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

-The Little Prince, Chapter 21 :)

In the last minute.

2010-07-07T08:55:00.000-07:00

You're so gangsta.

2010-07-01T08:31:00.000-07:00

School these few days have been more interesting. Unlike last semester which seemed to pass by in a blur, in which I can barely remember anything more than struggling to keep awake during classes and then having long stretches of breaks between lessons where we'd go back to sleep, our teachers are really engaging this time and I find paying attention almost effortless. Of course, it would be, since we're laughing almost the entire lesson. :)

I'm not sure if that's really a good thing, since our bunch/group is the only part of the class that can see the humour sometimes. And we end up roaring with laughter when no one else is.. ahem a bit embarrassing. But it's okay, at least I enjoy myself nowadays. :D

Been sweeping too many things under the carpet, that I know I'll need to sort out someday. But someday, really, is a code word for never. I don't know how we ever got to where we are, it must have been by taking small steps everyday? We have been living in an alternate universe, where it was possible to dream and speak of possibilities and chances and the future.. but it's time to get back to where you are you, and I am me. :)

I've just finished The Blind Side of the Heart by Julia Franck - and it's quite a good book. Especially with all the background knowledge about Germany during WWII, it's nice to see things from the perspective of a (fictional) character that actually lived during that period - rather than mere statistics and cold unalluring facts. It's such a terribly truthful book that faces almost taboo issues: selfishness, blindness of the heart, marriages where love is absent. Passionate affairs which were never meant to be.

Mmm I think I'm talking rubbish since this is typed at 11pm++ at night. I miss my roommate, the room is so quiet that I can hear my own thoughts. Hope she's having fun in UK (: And I can't wait for the weekend.

soundtrack of my summer.

2010-06-24T20:45:00.001-07:00

Things I have accomplished this June holidays:

Earned $450 from Discovery Vacation Camps.
Attended my first church camp! Wisdom For Life. (:
Made alooot of new friends and grown closer to older ones. DCG htht during church camp!
Started on our ARP.
Did not start on any other school-related work.
Watched 3 movies: Karate Kid, Toy Story 3, Knight and Day.
Fell in love with a little black kitten.
Slept till at least 10am almost everyday.
Successfully allowed my brain to degenerate.
Wrote 1 letter, 10++ notes, and lost 3 of them.
Received a note from an anonymous person who knows I can't live without my phone.
Made a promise.
Grown fatter from church camp.
Finished watching 1 Litre of Tears and cried for the FIRST TIME whilst watching a drama.
Been late more than I can remember. :D

Your eyes are the brightest of all the colours.

2010-06-23T07:31:00.000-07:00

I'm afraid that it's possible to hold you too tightly,
and you'd crumble into a wisp of smoke,
I'd find that -
all that we have is nothing but a dream.

Church camp was good, made me think about alot of issues and it posed answers to questions that I hadn't even come to yet. I think I'm beginning to see how everything comes together. I made a promise during camp that I hope I can keep :D 19 more days to form the habit. Yupyup, I really want to look back upon my life at the end of the year and say that this is a year that I've lived close to God. :) :)

Hostel life is starting next week, I'll miss Jieun dear like crazy! She's going to UK for her exchange trip for one entire week (hahaha means one week that I'll be sleeping alonezz.) and I hope she has loads of fun and stuff. :D On the other hand, the timetable does look pretty crazy and I'll need super good time management. Hahah no more running back to hostel to sleep during breaks. :/ I'll be trying to use all kinds of funny methods to motivate myself to press on till the end of the semester. :D

In any case, worship on Sunday was great, thank God. My mentees are really improving, by God's grace. I don't even have to guide them very much nowadays - and I can tell that they've really put in effort to practise - and all they need is more experience and confidence! (: Can safely say that I'll be letting go of them soon. Mmm really proud of them yups! :D Although I doubt they will read this, hahah.

I've been going out quite a bit these few days :) So tomorrow's a day that I'll finally get to kick back and relax and read the book that I've borrowed from National Library. I hope it rains hehehe 'cause there's nothing better than reading in bed in rainy weather. I think it's the only day in the entire holidays that I'll be lazing around at home.. I deserve it! Hahah.

We were reading this book on Love letters from Great Men, and were discussing how great men couldn't really write romantic letters. And likewise, those who were able to write lovey-dovey stuffs were hardly great men. I pointed out that Oscar Wilde was able to do both - He was a great man and he could write lovely letters.. And I realised that he was gay. How ironical this world is, and how terribly sad. xD

Last two days of my holiday. :) Goodnight world :D

In Batam! (:

2010-06-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

I'm in Batam now for church camp with Qingyi and Lois as my amazing roommates. Hehe the hotel is super nice and the bed is almost impossible to get out of in the mornings seriously. xD Anyway we keep watching tv and eating cup noodles and drinking milo, enjoying life! OH YEAH the buffet meals are just too good to be true. Hahah I love church camp :)

Today's Day Two of church camp, and the sermon's have been quite insightful so far too. :) I like my group - we always get alot of meaningful discussion done yupyup. And I'm quite thankful for the HTHT I had with Bel today during the free time, I think she really answered my questions and everything.

DCG bonding time is also shuper duper fun rawr :D after our showers, we're gonna crash Jo and Venezia's room. Girl-talk-time :D Qingyi's macbook is cool. Goodnight world!!

Honey lemon (:

2010-06-12T08:00:00.000-07:00

"You don't love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear."

— Oscar Wilde

How the clams saved the day! (:

2010-06-10T06:47:00.000-07:00

I'M VERY EXCITED FOR TOMORROW'S CONCERT BY S4!!!! (: I think it should be quite funny and cute and there'll be a surprise at the end. :D That's only if everything works out fine.

Hehe this week has been quite chaotic and tiring, but the kids are more obedient than last week's batch. And they take instructions so much better, so I don't have to raise my voice and yell at them to get back in line. Except that tuesday was really quite bad - the trip to the mushroom farm resulted in the kids overeating during the mushroom tasting (or was it a hygiene issue?) and the rocky bus ride back.. caused 6 kids to vomit. Ugh 4 girls and 2 boys. So I had to clean up the 4 girls and change their clothes and you get the idea. Hahah.

Benjamin, my co-leader, keeps making fun of me pfft. Hahah maybe it's like all hong kong people have something against me?! But it's really quite funny sometimes too, so I have no choice but to laugh along. :X At least I can talk to him during lessons when I'm bored, ahem, last week I had to amuse myself half the time when there was nothing to do :/

And there's this super adorable little girl called Tasha in my class.. I feel so popular and wanted whenever the children scream for me to sit at their table. :D Tomorrow's the last dayyyy and I'm sure I'll miss them loads. I haven't taken a lot of peektures yet, but I'll try to get nice pics tomorrow during the concert. Aww man can't wait! :)

So today Serene, Chin Wen and I went to Island Creamery for an ice cream treat just to reward ourselves.. for nothing in particular actually. Serene and I shared a double scoop of coconut swirl and horlicks ice cream, and Chin Wen got burnt caramel and reverso. The burnt caramel really tastes BURNT. So we kept suanning him about his choice of ice cream and so on so forth.. It was absurdly hilarious. :D And then we all swapped stories about our classes and gossiped about the children we liked, and all the cute things they did.. Makes me feel like a teacher already!

Rawr I'm feeling sleepy and it's not even 11pm yet O.o This camp is the best weight loss programme honestly, considering how little I eat during lunch and how tired I feel at the end of the day. :D I'll blog about my mini adventure on sunday another day ;) Goodnight world.

The law of diminishing returns.

2010-06-03T08:11:00.000-07:00

Today's activities at DVC required the poor group leaders to catch ants! :/ And in the process, I Gary caught a tree frog too in the field. Hahah.

Anyway Chin Wen and I were staring at the ants in this container, and we had this complete communication breakdown. It was so hilarious xD

Me: Look, the ant's spasming. Seriously, eh, it has gone mad!
Chin Wen: Huh?? Where's it going?
Me: It has gone mad!
Chin Wen: It can't escape! How can it go back? It can't go anywhere!
Me: NONO IT HAS GONE MADDDDDD.
Chin Wen: IT CAN'T GO ANYWHEREEEEE.

I was laughing like crazy about that entire conversation.

Let me hold something tangible.

2010-06-01T06:22:00.000-07:00

Two days of DVC - wow, I'm super tired. 8 more days to go!! Whoo I can do this!! Hahah, bringing 27 primary one kids out for a field trip is more exhausting than I expected, they kept complaining about the weather, about how boring it was, about how they wanted to go home.. But they're all really bright, and I just have to engage their attention elsewhere. All the kids, especially this little boy called Darryl, are very very fascinated by my macaron, which dangles around within their reach whenever I use my phone. I should take a few pics of them in the coming days hehe. :D

And there's this boy called Sean who's super duper uber SMART too. Although his logic isn't very good sometimes (air makes things lighter?), I guess he can be pardoned! And part of the reason that I like him is that he reminds me of myself as a kid. He likes to randomly make concoctions and freeze them, which is something that I used to do a great deal too. I think there're still 3 cups in the freezer now which I used to freeze my potions xD

I like the little girls with long hair :) Maybe I should start keeping my hair long too, so the teachers will like me! Hahah, just kiddinggg.

I'm not exactly in the best of moods today, but I'll leave the thinking to tomorrow. I can't bear to think about it now, I'm too tired honestly. :/ Shouldn't drink bubble tea everyday.

I don't need a parachute, baby, if I've got you.

2010-05-29T07:08:00.000-07:00

Half-hearted, completely forgotten apologies. But it's okay, I guess, I'll still forgive him, I don't need an apology. It's just that you should never promise something that you'll forget. But even if you read this (which I highly doubt you will), you don't have to ask me again because I'd rather not accept something that's half-hearted. It's okay already, I guess it was the thought that counts.

Some of us went bowling yesterday, but it feels like so long ago already! Hahah i fail terribly at bowling. And so does Zikai, but he's at least better than me by 9 points. Oh dear my score is so embarrassing, I shall not even reveal it. So in the end I decided not to play the second game, and not to waste money, so I was just taking pictures of everyone else looking cool when they release the bowling ball. :)

After that we went to eat at MoF!! And I keep losing bets with people.. it's very absurd. I should just stop betting with anybody at all hahah. The ice cream was really good but it was so diabetically sweet, seriously. Anyway I met so many people from church yesterday :O Hahah the rest went back to hostel to help Zikai pack his room / do goodness-knows-what else xD and I headed home after that.

Mmm I woke up bright and early this morning to go to RGPS to set up for DVC :) I met my co-leader and teacher today, and both of them seem very very nice! :D We were lining the tables with newspaper, and 3 little girls came in to help us. They're so cuuuute, and they were helping me to tear the masking tape to tape the newspapers. I suppose they got bored after a while, so they started sticking the tape on my co-leader, and I started laughing at him as well. xD

I think DVC is gonna be fun, I hope. Hehe lunch-ed at Macs, and I initially wanted to eat at island creamery for dessert... But I was too full :/ Yup then I came home and just slept like a pig from 3.30pm until 7.30pm. :)

My life is complicatedddd. :(

1 Litre of Tears

2010-05-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

I just started watching this japanese drama - 1 Litre of Tears! And I'm on the 3rd episode already (: It looks like quite a tragedy, so I wonder whether I'll shed any tears in the process of watching it.. Hahah, considering that I'm usually quite heartless when it comes to watching dramas, and the only show that has made me cry is A Walk To Remember. :O

Oh, before I forget, GDOP on sunday was really amazing. The worship was good and the praying together and everything.. Sometimes, it really takes others to remind me that I'm not living for myself alone. :) After everything, Ji Eun, Heidi and I forced Jing Min to go shopping with us at Somerset 313!! Hahah and poor Jing Min called Chin Wen to rescue him. It was really hilarious, especially with the guys being all suaku and stuff in the dress shops.

"Is this, like, a pregnant pouch or something?" Hahah and they couldn't tell the difference betweeen a tube top and a skirt. xD In any case, Ji Eun and Heidi were crazy shoppers - so much so that even I got tired after a while. SIMC opening ceremony was surprisingly quite okay, although all the choir people got made fun of for our nun costumes. Ahem ahem I think real nuns don't wear ribbons in their hair or put on makeup okay! (:

Yay anyway I'm very happy that Serene, Chin Wen, Ash and I got the DVC job for 2 weeks!! Whoo hoo holiday job and cute little p1 children, here I come :D Oh and Chink, Lois and I are gonna be rooming together for church camp too. I'm already very excited for this holidays even though I'm gonna be mad busy. :D

Someday we'll know..

2010-05-25T08:14:00.001-07:00

Why I wasn't meant for you.

Goodnight. :)

The most amazing feeling in the world.

2010-05-20T08:04:00.000-07:00

I think the best feeling you can get isn't being happy, or contented or surprised or anything like that. I think it's being awed, seeing something for the first time, and when something really genuinely moves you and makes your heart tremble. It's the sense of anticipation, knowing that this is just the first step of a wonderful journey. It's a feeling that you'll never forget for as long as you live. Makes you feel like a little child again, looking at the world with a new set of eyes, bright with hope.

We went to look for a bookshop yesterday, but ended up finding so much more. It was stepping into a time warp, a serene haven that was safe from the noises and worries of the outside world.

I love reading children's books, complete with their illustrations and sometimes, children's books convey alot more than what meets the eye. So on a whim, I bought this really pretty and colourful book, and I'm really looking forward to sitting down one rainy afternoon and poring over all the pictures. Hahah.

Anyway, it was a really good day yesterday. It's been a really long time since I could go out and walk around randomly exploring and talking and laughing the afternoon away. It's always been something that I've wanted to do :D Explore singapore. We looked at overpriced vintage stuffs and typewriters and all - it kinda felt like a scene out of a movie. I'm going back there again someday, and check out the entire street or something. :)

Change is the only thing that's constant in this world.
Yes, why?
I don't want anything now to change.
You don't want things to change?
Yeah.
If anything changes, it'll only be for the better.

It felt a bit weird blogging in that style - I sound like I'm writing a story or something right! Anyway today I woke up at 10.30am or something, after last night's movie marathon with Heidi, Germaine and Mariel. Then Heidi and I had some heart-to-heart talk until 12pm :) It felt good to talk to her about all the things on my mind, and we ate milo and sultana biscuits for breakfast until I was stuffed. XD

Serene and I then went down to NUS to meet our ARP mentor with Ms Lim and she's really really nice! :) I'm quite glad. She even let us go into the Spider Lab (even though it's completely unrelated to our project) and we were looking at the cute furry tarantula. I never thought I'd describe a spider as cute, but well it really was. :D

After that, Heidi, Serene, Germaine, Jing Min, Chin Wen, Ronald, Rahul, Zikai and I headed to east coast park to cycle. It was my 2nd time cycling properly, and this time I didn't crash that many times or randomly swerve when I saw people. Hahah, what an accomplishment. :) I'm gonna practise my cycling during this holidays or something, and in no time I'll be a pro. But it was fun today anyway.

Quite a few accidents happened during our cycling trip :( Get well soon okay!! We still love youuu. :)

Hmm my legs are aching like nobody's business. This just goes to show how terribly unfit I am, and I really can't seem to stop eating and start exercising. :/ hahah. I'm awfully tired and my hair is finally dry! Alrighties I shall go sleep now. Goodnight everyone (:

CHALET WAS AWESOME! :D

2010-05-13T10:03:00.000-07:00

Hahah, quite enough said. My brain is still swirling with ten thousand things that I need to do, including organizing my life, my thoughts, my work, my table, my room.. Yup, as of now, everything is in this one huge terrible mess since I've pushed everything aside ever since the exams started. And now it's time to get back on track with reality, and really think.. for once.. what do I really want? What do I really hope to achieve? What am I doing and for what purpose?

I don't quite know what to do anymore. I want to hold on to you, but I don't know if that's terribly selfish of me. I think I shall just go to sleep and uhh, wake up a bit earlier tomorrow to pack my table and all my stuffs that have been lying around. Goodnight world :) I'm in a weird mood today so my blogging style sounds a bit different. I'm sorry. Goodnight. :)

You're so hard to forget.

2010-05-08T07:58:00.000-07:00

Don't you know, you have the ability to make us the happiest of friends, or the unhappiest of lovers?

There was too much feeling invested, and both their hearts were at stake.

HAHAH I CAN'T WAIT TO WRITE SOPPY LOVE STORIES :)

You say it best, when you say nothing at all.

2010-05-06T07:31:00.000-07:00

The picture is completely random. I can't wait for tomorrow and for our ISLAND CREAMERY ice cream outing!! Hahah chem is swimming around in my brain and my eyes feel really dry :O which is strange considering I already slept for about one and a half hours in the afternoon hehe. Mmm will continue studying chem when I wake up tomorrow (: I shall go memorize all the reactions and reagents/conditions and stuff after I turn off the computer.

I've been listening to the song You Are Here (The Same Power) from Hillsong's Hail To The King album. The piano intro sounds really cool and the first time I heard it, the song and everything just really hit me hard.

Hahah it'd be nice if we could play that for worship in youth service one day. :D *BIG HINT JC AND ANTHONY*

And the lyrics are very meaningful as well. (:

Do you know what the sweetest time of the day is?
It's when you pray. Because that's when you're talking to the One who loves you most.

8)

2010-05-05T07:20:00.000-07:00

A list of randomly weird things that I like :)

1. The smell of wooden pencils.
2. The smell of libraries and crisp new books.
3. The smell of the freezer at home (hahah when I was a kid I used to open the freezer and just stand there for ages!)
4. Changing the font/theme/wallpaper of my phone just to make it feel like I've got a brand new phone.
5. New bedsheets. (make me feel like sleeping more.)
6. Different soaps in all shapes and sizes and scents.
7. Perfume bottles.
8. Whipped cream.
9. Belgian waffles from Starbucks.
10. Buying coloured pens.
11. Looking at pretty paper and stationery and scrapbooking materials, even if I don't intend to buy them, or have no idea how to use them.
12. ISLAND CREAMERY ICE-CREAM!
13. People-watching.
14. Writing stories and making complete strangers my main characters.
15. Receiving letters/ notes/ cards/ whatever. (which makes it quite strange that my love language is quality time and not words of affirmation.)

I'll be the one. (:

2010-05-04T03:30:00.000-07:00

Was just talking to Zikai on msn, and he shared something that's quite true, but hilarious at the same time.

The Test of True Love (according to zikai):

Hang says:

*umm imagine that person
*now think of someone that has a face that irks u the most
*if the person u like looks like that would u still like that person?
*if yes.. good for u

(8)Ada(: (C) mugging mode. says:

*HAHAHA

*im actually laughing to the com

It's quite true, isn't it? xD

In any case, I should really be studying and not randomly talking to people online or blogging ahh. I've yet to mark my AP Calc MCQs! And I need to memorize some more bio rawr, and maybe cram some chem into my head if I've got the time. The exams will be over soooonnnn. :)

I'm gonna commit everything into Your hands, Jesus. 'Cause I know I can't handle this on my own, but I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength. :D

这几天，好像一直有着莫名的伤感。不知道为什么会感到难过。:(

The heartbeat of our mission.

2010-05-01T02:19:00.000-07:00

I can put away all distractions, but I can't put away my heart.

Hahah am I philosophical or what. I've already come up with an entire list of stuff that I want to do after the exams heh heh heh. Okay back to marking my calculus revision questions ._.

Woke up in the middle of last night with so many things running through my mind, including ketones and carboxylic acids transforming into esters, and helper T cells and cytotoxic T cells and agglutinated red blood cells. This is what always happens the week before exams. :/

Just one more thing:

2010-04-29T05:08:00.001-07:00

Before I go into 100% mugging mode. :)

Why do I feel as if we're strangers now? :(

I don't know where to start

2010-04-29T00:00:00.001-07:00

Saw this on Mariel's blog, it's so true. (:

Now I have something to look forward to, everyday!! ;D I hope we can keep this up for the rest of the year, hehe.

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY JANG JI EUN!!

just a shell.

2010-04-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

“You are beautiful, but you are empty,” he went on. “One could not die for you. To be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you - the rose that belongs to me.”

- The Little Prince

The crazy things people do..

2010-04-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

Today was a rather interesting day :) Went for some internet evangelism day talk at Kum Yan Methodist Church near city hall. It was quite.. eye-opening, I guess. It was really early in the morning, so I was a bit stoned. Hahah, and I learnt that it's very embarrassing to register your name as "Ada Haha" online, when people actually "take attendance" (in a sense) at the place. :P

Then there was cluster outingzxzx at Shangri-La the line buffet! :D Yumyum. I ate so much until I could barely move, seriously. I couldn't even finish my chocolate covered marshmallows and the desserts that I took, that's how full I was. :P Something quite absurd happened though, hahaha. The food was shuper good (: I kept eating way past my limit, and quite regretted it after that HAHAH. It was so difficult just to walk out from Shangri-La to Orchard lol.

Anyways Germaine and I went to Ion Orchard to window shop and look at all the pretty clothes and accessories that we're gonna buy after exams!! And just looking at them makes me happy enough already. :D We bought pens from MUJI, and I bought surprises on the way home. Somehow surprising other people makes me excited. So I was like grinning to myself the entire journey.

SIAN ZI PUA IM VERY STRESSED OUT.

Only you. (:

2010-04-23T02:32:00.000-07:00

FEELS GOOD TO SLEEP (: and med chem test is over hahah! Alrighties, here come the rest of the exams. And I'm going out the entire weekend too :O

I get suanned in class on a daily basis now -.- until I've given up trying to say anything in my own defence. Tsk, I get bullied. ):

Meeting Germ tomorrow to go to Shangri-La together. Very dangerous. Hahah both of us have absolutely zero sense of direction. :D so we're going like, half an hour early to give ourselves buffer time to get lost. :D It's going to rain, my favourite weather. Okies I need to pack my room and all my stuffs for the weekend. Zai jian!!

My past archives never fail to disgust me. Like my old journal entries as well. Hahah I read them as a form of self-torture. Oh man.

Shall start studying at 2pm! (:

2010-04-21T22:43:00.000-07:00

Last night Ji Eun went home (get well soon, I miss you roomie!!) and Germaine came over to study at night. :D but I was super tiredzxz despite drinking milo, such a rare occurence, so I went to sleep.

And then, I had really bad nightmares :( It's the first time that I've had nightmares in hostel, but Ji Eun wasn't there and I was all alone in the room. It was 4am and I got up, turned on the table lamp and didn't dare to go back to sleep. :/ The thing that made it even more scary was that I was half-awake during the "nightmare", it was so terrifying. Okay nevermind I don't want to talk about it.

Thank goodness someone was awake at the unearthly hour of 4am this morning. :D

Yay our cluster's going to Shangri-La this saturday! Awesome possum. Serene and I are gonna wear something expandable so we can EAT ALL WE CAN at the buffet. :) Hahah, cheapskate to the max. And there's Joshua's 1st birthday celebration on sunday as well, so I'll be eating loads of good food over the weekend. :D

Studied in class during our 3h free period with Serene and Wei Jin for the chem quiz. Not very effectively, but the quiz was pretty okay I guess. (: Wei Jin and I probably annoyed Serene a greattttt deal by singing off-key on purpose, and blasting all the songs that she doesn't like. HAHAH. She confiscated her phone so we couldn't blast "lian ai-ing" and both of us started singing it as horribly as possible. xD

"Do you know what's the mugger's favourite song?"
"Er, no, what?"
"Umbrella by Rihanna."
"Why?"
"Umbrella-ella-ella, A! A! A! Under my umbrella-ella-ella, A! A! A! A! A-A!"

So lame rightzx. -.- Okay I shall have self-discipline and turn off my com and start studying for med chem. (:

Procrastination..

2010-04-20T22:55:00.000-07:00

I need to go study MED CHEM :/
And I just remembered my chem quiz is tomorrow!!!! :O
Ugh. The exams are sooner than I expected. D:

NEON (:
hahah the name sounds so cute, I like. :D

you're my wish come true (:

2010-04-20T04:08:00.000-07:00

HAHAH I like giving random titles that don't refer to anyone in particular or mean anything in particular. :D

School has been quite, uhm. interesting. Today was so dramatic.. so many things :O Bio prac itself was very happening. :O

Sigh there's too much on my brain and my heart. Been re-reading the spiritual leadership book we did for SFG, and it's very humbling indeed, I must say. But I miss SFG so much!! Miss my group and our funny open hearted sharings, and doing the challenges together, and no matter how stressful it got sometimes, you'd always know that there're people you can fall back on. No wonder this month felt funny without SFG. xD

Oh and the so-called "interview" on sunday just turned out to be a "catch-up" session with bel. (: It was quite amazing 'cause she said when she sat next to me for service, she was thinking that she needed to catch up and talk to me sometime soon.. And it turned out that she was rostered to talk to me! :D It was really great to tell her all about school and stuff and worship ministry and my personal walk, and she really encouraged me and gave me a great deal of advice. I shall read my bible daily! (:

If You've brought me to this,
I know You will see us through. :)

):

2010-04-18T07:40:00.003-07:00

AP MOCK TOMORROWzxzxzxzxz
i cant wait for THE REAL APs TO BE OVER MUAHAHAHHA.

How do I get you alone?

2010-04-16T07:58:00.000-07:00

This is what I've been spending my days on. :/
It will be OVER soon!! :D BYEBYE CALCULUS!!

Heidi and me :D 2 very bored people waiting for our turn during speech day rehearsals.

Wei jin's clam before its eyes got mutilated. XD

This was taken nearly 2 or 3 weeks ago, I think. Maybe even longer!!

It's funny how I thought we were close - perhaps we never had anything between us except for figments of my overactive imagination. And if I were to stop initiating conversations with you, I don't think you'd talk to me either, would you? And perhaps you wouldn't feel a difference either. :/ I am oh-so-tired. There's too much "drama" between us. I guess I need a little breather, a little distance for a while. Because I'm so terribly confused.

I need to be more focused. I need to keep reminding myself that God's in charge, and surely He has an awesome wonderful plan, far greater than anything I could conceive or dream of. :) I'm gonna run this race to the end, gonna persevere, gonna give it all I've got. My 101%. I know You'll always be there by my side, because You have promised to never ever leave or forsake me.

I really can't imagine a life without You, because certainly, You're all that I live for everydayyy.

Worship prac tomorrow in the afternoon! :D Lord, I commit everything into Your hands. I know that I shouldn't be worrying at all, because You're in control, yet the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I trust You, Jesus. :)

Anyways, yesterday's dinner at BBQ chicken with Serene and Ji Eun was fun. Had a good time chatting and teasing each other (ahem!!!) and just taking a break from our studies. So was studying and going out for ice-cream with Germaine on wednesday! 2 awfully directionally challenged people. :/ we should really never attempt to go to funny places that we've never been to, roar. XD

well, hello there.

2010-04-15T10:48:00.000-07:00

Cheap thrills:

Walking around on the track at night when the rain has stopped.
Playing plants vs zombies.
Trying out the desserts at the bubble tea store.
Making "swimming pools" with waffles and maple syrup.
Singing at the top of my voice.
Making Campbell chicken and mushroom instant soup.
Sleeping on a rainy afternoon.
Ticking another item off my to-do list.
Writing notes to people.
Eating ice-cream.
Laughing at nothing at all.
Swings.
Receiving letters.

I feel like reading Isaac Asimov. Hahah ugh mock AP exams and egg-xams. I really can't wait for them to be over!!! Roar.

You make my day!

2010-04-13T01:49:00.001-07:00

In a bright sunny way :)

Hahah Serene and I wrote (part of) a song during physics class 'cause I was doodling "you make my day" all over my paper for fun, and then I told her, "I'll write you a song called you make my day!" Then Ms Ng came over, glanced at my paper, and she was like, "I hope you're referring to me ah.." But I was quite happy today :D

Is it possible to like someone, but not love them?

I'm very addicted to making my campbell instant soup hahahah. There's something different about food that you've COOKED yourself! It always tastes better. Maybe I'll attempt something that isn't instant next time. (and when it isn't our room's turn to clean the pantry too. just kidding!!) Small steps small steps. :D

Clam Chowder Chong Sialz just reminded me that I have work to do as well. Ahhh but at least I packed and organized all my files/ drawers just now. Yay me.

Oh I just remembered something really funny that happened on sunday.

Chinky: Wah Ada, someone broke your record already. Tskk.
Me: Huh? I don't really care about these kinda things..
Jollin: OH really..
Me: Yeah. Hahah. There's only one person in my heart.
Jollin: Who!
Me: Up there.
Jollin: Wow, God?
Me: Erm, up there. ^^

Just kidding okay, I hope person-in-question doesn't ever read my blog. Hehehe. :D

I hope you don't think that way about me!):

Anyway today I got really irritated at someone and I told him off during morning assembly. It's one of the rare few times (is it the first time!) that I actually tell people off. He was just rambling and gossiping and saying completely untrue things about someone else, and something in me just snapped. I was like, "Can you stop it and stop judging others if you don't even know them in the first place." I guess that did it and he was silent for the entire announcements.

L is for the way you look at me:

2010-04-12T09:18:00.000-07:00

I LOVE YOU JESUS,
DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART!
I LOVE YOU JESUS,
DEEP DOWN IN MY HEART!
Let's talk about
deep deep, down down,
deep down in my heart!
Let's talk about
deep deep, down down,
deep down in my heart! :)

Hehe I like that song very much, Heidi and I kept singing it today after choir :D It's such a feel-good, childhood sunday school song, complete with hand actions. And we sang it for worship yesterday!! I think I'm just happy to have gotten my voice back.

I should really stop procrastinating. I feel very liberated now though :) Serene, Ji Eun and I cooked soup just now. Or rather I attempted to cook soup for the first time in my entire life, and it didn't turn out that awful, since instant soup can't get all that terrible! :D So funny. I added too much water, and spent the next 20 minutes trying to boil off the extra water.

Interview on Sunday :O I didn't know applying to youth comm was such a formalzxzx thing, hmm. :/ This weekend's gonna be packed. Okay I'm back to work, I made a promise I really shouldn't break. Lol.

I tell people that friendships fluctuate, people step in and out of your life, once-close friends drift away and accquaintances become confidantes. That's change, and that's a part of life that we can't avoid. And yet all the same, I feel disappointed when someone (I thought I was close to) drifts away and we barely even say hello even though we see each other everyday. Almost, I guess. How ironical that people can be so faraway and unreachable even when they're living so near to you.

I was talking to Bernadine (yes I do talk alot) after speech day when we went for lunch, and I asked her if I changed a great deal this year. And she was like, yeah you became more toned-down and less crazy and perhaps more emotional. Is that a good thing? I have no idea. Hahah. But I like it that my life's more or less uneventful now. :)

Meow rawr.

coming for you :)

2010-04-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

There's church tomorrow :D I can't wait. Hmm Chinky and I are leading dcg and (ahem) we haven't really prepared except talking on the phone for around 10 minutes just now. I feel very accomplished! I've finished all the MCQs of the AP calculus prep book, and now I'm slowly chomping through the FRQs. Lalala I wonder if it's possible to finish it by this weekend, hmm.

I hope I don't cough the whole night again tonight :(

只是一场意外

2010-04-04T21:29:00.000-07:00

不知道为什么突然想用华语。很久没有讲华语了，如果下个学期决定上翻译课程一定给某些人笑死。这几天我又生病了，发烧，咳嗽，真的好难受。不知道为什么，应该不会是因为跟 Serene 相处了一个星期吧？还是在东海岸公园晒了一整个下午的太阳，喝不够水？

我生病了，你却不闻不问。

Hahah I really can't do this blogging-in-chinese thing. Save me from my heart please.

说不出口的时候

2010-04-03T06:12:00.000-07:00

I'm sick and sunburnt now, coughing and running a fever and my entire body is aching. Tsk, so not worth it. I shall go do my IR stuffszx. :(

We once came up with a theory about how every heart has a remote control, and at some age, everyone loses the remote control to their hearts. Someone's holding the remote control to your heart, but they don't know it, and so they quite carelessly push the buttons. And that's how everyone's feelings get manipulated. Hahaha.

Good Friday.

2010-04-02T01:29:00.002-07:00

:) :) :)

I CAN CYCLE!!!!!! HAHAHAHAH MINGYAN AND RONALD CAN PROVE IT!!!

yay.

(literally) puppy love.

2010-03-30T20:46:00.000-07:00

My brain is bursting at its seams with all the stuff I have to remember. I can't wait to get chem test over and done with, and spill everything out. Then I shall sleep through study time :D

Talking to x is like playing with fire. But perhaps, fire has feelings too.
I think only Serene and Ji Eun can understand the above, hahaha.

I desperately need to do something now or else I'll just go mad from the sheer amount of information I have to retain in my brain I'm so tired I really don't see a point I haven't studied for bio olympiad and I don't really care since they're taking best _ out of _ quizzes that we have right right even if they're not chem test is more important I can't stand isomerism and I would throw my heart out of the window if I could now. I am very very very very very very very tired. Give me a break from studying please. Everyday I get back to hostel the only thing I do is study, eat, study, bathe, talk, study study study maybe sms a bit, go to bed stressed, wake up early in the morning, continue studying, go back to sleep for a while, repeat ad infinitum.

broken promises.

2010-03-29T05:18:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, even her own heart frightened her terribly by the things it whispered, and the truth it could not hide, and the depth of its emotions.

Annoying wordflow poem. I don't see why I have to pay 30 buckz to participate in a competition, with my terrible poetry.

I feel very handicapped without my handphone. The battery died since 10am and I just managed to start charging it. I think I'm like suffering from withdrawal symptoms or something.

i loved you forever, forever is over.

2010-03-28T01:31:00.000-07:00

Too many distractions.

1) I'll go to class without my handphone. (let's see if I can live up to this..)
2) I'm going to finish up everything on my to-do list by this week.
3) I'll appear offline on msn. (nowadays I'm far too lazy to go online.)
4) I shall send no more than 10 smses a day. (well now. no promises for this one.)

Tata :D Time to do work.

I need better time management skillzzz. ):

Clam Chowder! :)

2010-03-26T18:24:00.001-07:00

Hahah my posts are getting more and more laggy. :/ Anyway, this week has been fun and yet stress-filled.. The fun part is always in class :D All the spastic jokes that we make, and laugh so much, and ridiculous things that we talk about. Of course, the stress-filled part is everything else. Rushing work in the hostel, last minute chionging, walking around with my file studying for a quiz that's in 5 minutes time.

Oh anyway we went to TTSH on thursday, and I thought the trip was pretty good. :D There was this senior citizens helpline poster in the volunteer room with an old man grinning - and Ronald told everyone that the old man looked like Shengze. Hahah it really looked alot like him. So I ended up laughing.. throughout the briefing as well -.- Hahah. It was shuper hilarious, honestly.

Mm then I got grouped up with Jessie and Jessie. (the old and the young one) And for the first time, I actually spoke to a patient directly. Jessie and I weren't really quite sure what to say - so we were brainstorming for questions while the nurse was taking the patient's blood pressure :P but it was pretty okay. When she told us where she lived, I just started saying that my grandma lived there too, and about how they've stayed there since.. the kampong days. If I'm not wrong. But it was good overall. :D

Serene and co. were mistaken for kidnappers by this dementia (or was she just confused?) patient. :O And she kept threatening to call the police and send them to jail and stuffzx. Wish I was there! Hahah that was one of the stories that made us laugh when they recounted it later. :D

The trip back was terrible, though :/// Hahah Ronald turned it into some official "insult-ada-day" and my ego got thrown on the floor and stamped on. Blah blah nevermind :D my ego's too inflated already, ~~and the worst insults come from JC, so I think I can take anything else from anyone else already D:~~ Hahaha. For once we've stopped forming our separate "guy" and "girl" circles, and everyone stands together to talk :)

Anyway, we went back, Serene JiEun and I talked about.. rubbish. xD

And I learnt quite alot yesterday! Overseas CIP projects sound cool. :D guess everyone needs to discuss about projects.. sometime next week. I'll arrange something I guess. My mind is so over-cluttered with things to do: IR, sms my SAG girls, sms people.. And because samsung phone memory for messages is so absolutely tiny, I have to keep deleting messages. Selectively. I have something against deleting the entire inbox. :/

Okayyy I'm going for Fun-O-Rama with Heidi! I was supposed to have met her 10 minutes ago, and I havent even showered yet. :/

blind spots.

2010-03-23T21:20:00.000-07:00

Free Cone Day yesterday! :) It was like some mini-502 outing since Serene, Rachel, Ming Yan, Wei Jin, Jia Qing, Zong Xuan, Tianlu, Bryce (i realllly can't remember who else) and I went to vivo. It was such a cheap thrill, and I was super happy to eat my strawberry cheesecake yoghurt icecream yum yum. The cone tasted a bit weird though. :/ Nevermind, what can you say when it's free! :D

These few nights I've been having weird dreams. 2 nights ago, I dreamt I lived in a townful of glass houses and I could look into all my neighbours' houses, and no one could go to the toilet HAHAH. And then last night, I dreamt of Ms Kong and that she was asking me about Italy (?!).

And this morning, (for real) I found a bug-like-worm thingy inside my brushing teeth mug, and was surprisingly calm - like I didn't scream or anything. I just drowned the thing, and was too disgusted to use the mug after that. I washed my toothbrush like 102931827312 times though. D:

Sometimes, we all have the tendency to idealize people, things, situations of the past.. This morning, in order to collect our transcripts, they asked us to go back to our year4 classes. I thought it'd be really cool to go back to 407, but somehow it just doesn't feel the same anymore. So I went to crash 402 instead hahah. This year I've been complaining about how much I miss 407, and maybe I was just idealizing how everything used to be. xD

Anyway, on a BRIGHTER note! I finally printed peek-tures during the holidays, and I took the time to stick photos (and decorate them too) across the wall. It makes everything look so cheery :D Maybe I'll use black construction paper and construct film negative borders around them... If I ever find the time to do so.

I was sending out an sms that began with, "Hello kids! Just a reminder that.." then wei jin took my phone and added "I'm a pedophile!" and he sent it to loads of people. D: ugh ugh. Okay I'm gonna go study for chem quiz. (:

Reflections on a rainy sunday afternoon.

2010-03-21T04:15:00.000-07:00

Thought about alot of things today, and I talked to Andre in the youth room. He's really super mature for his age. It was raining, and I was stranded (trying to study rather unsuccessfully), and it was quite nice talking about other people and matters of the heart and crazy things that nobody can control.

People only want what they don't have. Nobody longs for something that he already possesses. That girl better appreciate you loads, given the amount of time and effort that you're putting into her! But you have to know when to let go too.. (: you know that saying about letting go of the person you love, and seeing if he/she comes back to you? it's true. Hahah, okay, this is coming from someone who doesn't know anything.. xD

Anyway, on friday, I caught How To Train Your Dragon with ji eun, zikai, jing min, rahul, kenrick and hansiang. Hahahah it was such a cute show! Ji Eun and I kept squealing throughout the movie :)

Me: Ohmygosh the dragon's so cute!!
JiEun: No, ohmygosh, the boy's so cute!!!!

I want to watch it again, hahahah who's up for watching it? :D

I hope * doesn't get the wrong idea about me.

Hey you, thanks for listening to all my random crap especially when I rant about how someone has a TRIANGLE BRAIN! Hahahah xD It's just a phase and I'm going to get over it sooooonnnn. I think it's a case of out of sight, out of mind hmm.

One day in the house of God is
better than a thousand days in the world.
So blessed I can't contain it
So much I've got to give it away :D

who says we can't make resolutions in the middle of the year?

2010-03-17T20:14:00.000-07:00

Sunday was an awesome day! :) ~~I know this is super lag but I shall post the pictures another time when I'm free. :D~~ Fellowship PIGnic was really good, and we had such a good time bonding within our dcg hehe. Even though it rained halfway through worship and all of us got soaked through. We went back to church and played some more games like double whacko and honey i love you (hahaha I'm getting better at not laughing anymore!!!!!!!!) and then our DCG headed off to some hongkong cafe + island creamery. :D

Island creamery's the best place on earth :] And Natasha gave us a treat too, although we asked her not to, but she insisted. Hahah we took pictures and talked about our complicated lives, and I really liked talking to VANessa on the bus back. :D

Anyways, it's raining now ): Heading off in a bit, Christopher's gonna give Mingyan, Shengze and me a lift! yayyy :D I don't have to worry about my nonexistent directional sense now. Rawr.

So many absurd things have happened these few days. :/

Bu Neng Shuo De Mi Mi is STUCK IN MY HEAD, since yesterday. Hahahaha.

NaCl + H2O

2010-03-12T07:46:00.000-08:00

So many things have happened over the past two weeks.

I am too much of an idealist. I live with my head in the clouds. No matter what I grow up to become, my full-time career will always be a serious dreamer. I have fallen so many times, had my heart broken over and again, spent sleepless nights thinking about the future, but I know that I can't stop, won't stop, dreaming. Perhaps, I always think the best (and genuinely believe the best) about other people. Life is too short for you to be cynical. I want to laugh, live in the moment, love deeply. That's how I want to live.

It's not just about dreaming.. I know all of my days are held in Your hands! :) I know You have an amazing plan for me.

He asked me to make a list - of the things I like and dislike about you, and why exactly I like you. So as to be more rational. Hahah. Maybe I should do just that tomorrow. :D

treading on air.

2010-03-07T04:52:00.000-08:00

Your words are empty
and perhaps
so are mine.

okay I'm gonna finish up my chem, earn some more money, write terrible poetry for the wordflow competition, go out for lunch, and then go out with 4o7, spend that money. Sounds like a pretty good plan. ;)

two is better than one, really?

2010-03-05T07:04:00.000-08:00

I keep getting dc-ed. There's something wrong with my laptop's wireless :( emo emo emo. Especially whenever I come to some crucial point in a conversation, it cuts me off! SO ANNOYING RIGHT. Pfftzxzxz.

I feel as if I've grown 2 years over this entire week. Suddenly, the world isn't half as rainbow-coloured as I thought it was. Not just my problems (which.. have been mostly but not entirely resolved) but other people's problems too. Rarararara. It's not just 1 person that I'm talking about here. :) And I carry their burdens, in my heart. :(

SFG TOMORROW. :) oh yeah i still need to make the decision. To join, or not to join?

Today was a fairytale.

2010-03-02T21:14:00.000-08:00

I know things can only get better from here. (:

1) I magic-cleaned and swept the floor, wiped the shelves and the windows. So our room feels fantastically clean now. And I like my new pink bedsheet so much, I feel like sleeping all the time. The bed is too tempting.

2) I've talked to so many people, until I'm tired of talking. Kinda enjoying the solitude in the room now, blasting music. :D

3) I feel very accomplished. (despite the fact that I haven't started studying for chem quiz yet, rawr) I've actually gotten some work done, sent some emails out, put things away, and my study table is neatly packed! (hahah, everything is in the drawer. ahem.)

4) I love Ji Eun!!!!!!!!! I'm so glad she's my roommate. She's like an older sister who'll talk sense into me. :D

I want to talk to you, but I don't know what to say, anyway. So maybe I'll just leave us the way we are.

oh heart of mine, come back home.

2010-03-01T06:49:00.000-08:00

Physics prac test tomorrow! :O Going to sleep early after studying tonight. :D

I'm so thankful for Serene and Ji Eun (and even Bernadine for putting up with me) listening to me rant and talk rubbish and dig up history from 192381273612 years ago last night! And especially Ji Eun for praying with me, and just generally making me feel better. And Chinky too.

Thanks you-know-who-you-are for being there too, all the time, to listen to me. :]

With God all things are possible. :)

Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name

If I had wings, I would fly.

2010-02-25T21:29:00.000-08:00

I wish we had remote controls to our heart.

I miss my DCG so so so much ): ): ): ): we need to catch up soon, especially qingyi and rachel! HTHT. And Heidi, our maggie lunch date next week! Rawr. :D

For who you are.

2010-02-21T03:07:00.000-08:00

aww so cute right! Hahahah saw this on Tessa's blog. :D

- oh dear I lost my bulletin! I bet I left it in the room where we were studying. Ugh. The first time in the year that I take sermon notes.. and I'VE LOST MY WEEKLY! ): -

Today was so amazing. The speaker was good :) And Seekers' Class made me think hard, about a great deal of things. Uncle Peng Kok said something that really struck me - if God really does exist, if He's real, we can't define Him. We're gonna have to let Him define Himself, and whatever we may think about him won't change who He really is. We have to stop creating our own definition of God, and putting Him in a box, and stop worshipping that idol that we've created. He created us, and not the other way 'round.

I don't call the shots here. I need to stop bargaining with God for stuff, and start trusting Him that He can see the bigger picture.

Anyway I'm really glad for today, it's been a good change to a week that has had more downs than ups. Chinky and I talked over lunch and studied in church, where our classroom got crashed by the munchkin guys. :/ hahah, everyone's bad habits appear when they're studying. People who talk to themselves, drum their fingers on the table, distract other people... I think I belong to the first category :O Nevertheless, it was more effective than I expected. :D

Okay should be going back to do work now. byebye. (:

contemplative.

2010-02-16T00:38:00.000-08:00

I kinda miss 407, but I miss the way we were and not the way we are now. Does that make any sense? All the random spontaneous outings, and joking around in class, and the funniest things that we used to do. I just feel like we've all drifted apart (even though TGABC's in the same cluster!) hmmm. :/

502 doesn't feel quite the same, but then again, most new classes tend to be this way at the start of the year.

Anyway, to talk about HAPPIER THINGS, last night I had the coolest dream ever!! Heidi and I were randomly walking around somewhere, and we came across this super huge vending machine that sold ice-cream gobstoppers. And it was like, $2 for 4 scoops, and after we paid for it, the yummiest LARGEST ice-cream scoops I've ever seen came tumbling out. And the best thing was that, they came with toppings too, and it's like layer after layer of different ice cream flavours inside. :D

The nicest thing about food in dreams is that they're nicer than food in real life, and you can eat as much as you want without getting fat. :D

How tired can you get before you finally disappear into thin air?

Something I should ask myself.

2010-02-14T06:42:00.000-08:00

What matters most to you?
And what would you be willing to give up for it?

okay I must've been out of my mind..for the past 1 week or so. :O you know, after a while, your mind kinda warps things that happened in the past and makes them out to be more rosy than they actually were.. mmm. hahahah.

what can I say?

2010-02-11T22:55:00.000-08:00

I just can't seem to drown you out of my thoughts; you've been swimming around in my mind all night.

HAHAHAHAH oh my I just realised that I can change the theme of my Windows Live Messenger! No wonder all my contacts' conversation windows look different O: O: Wow.

Chad and Bolton are very amusing. :) Heidi, Serene and I always end up meeting them, I don't know why.

Midnights and cups of coffee.

2010-02-10T22:37:00.001-08:00

Yesh this week is finally over! :) My 4 quizzes are over, and chinese new year is coming and for once I won't have my entire weekend "burnt" away. I HOPE. :D

Last night was good, I guess. (y) And germaine sent me this message that her friend sent her:

"Well God gave me a revelation about feelings. They are either from our flesh or from the devil. Whenever someone succumbs to their feelings, they are probably subjected to their emotions like anger etc. So the world only has feelings but Hallelujah we have the Spirit! Even when we feel like we fail or have negative thoughts, they can't change us. We just have to say Jesus I give you my bad feelings and He will turn it for your good. :) Seek His shalom peace that He has left in this world for us. the devil wants to steal that peace within you so that when you can't guard your heart, you can't guard anything else. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid :) "

Today was pretty hilarious, 'cause there was the song dedication booth and we kept spamming dedications. Rachel dedicated Bad Romance from Ming yan to Serene, and Serene dedicated Sorry, sorry back! We were randomly sabo-ing people. xD THE BRYCE SONG DEDICATION ONE WAS EPIC THOUGH. "You're my prey." oh yeah I can't wait for our 502 sentosa beach volleyball outing :) And I want 407 class dinner also!! (too many exclamation marks in one paragraph!!!!!!!)

Thought through alot of things last night... hahah. Serene, Heidi and I are going to Bugis in a short while :D I need to buy 3 birthday presents (: Maybe I'll get valentines day presents too/ make notes if I feel like it. Roar.

.___.

2010-02-10T00:29:00.000-08:00

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I'M STILL FRIENDS WITH JC. ):<

My top 10 dream jobs:
1) Professional shopper
2) Plastic surgeon
3) Comic strip writer
4) Hot air balloon flyer
5) Tai-tai
6) Bookshop owner
7) Chocolate factory owner
8) A farmer who owns a ranch
9) Archaelogist
10) Astronaut

:D

Without a sound.

2010-02-08T23:41:00.000-08:00

Almost complete dcg photo! (:

Living God's Love valentine's event was really awesome, good job to Venezia and Vanessa! :D I'm sorry I didn't help much except for games, but I had such a wonderful time. Heidi came too, and I hope she enjoyed herself there. :D It's so amazing how each year's event is better than the last, and how our youth has become more aware that the focus is no longer on ourselves, but on others. :) Good job to the younger ones too! I feel like I'm almost the oldest there.

After everything, Chink and I wrote on the leftover helium balloons and we wanted to let them go on the way to Anthony's car, but mine couldn't fly for some reason! ): They say if you let something go, and it comes back to you, you'll know it's really yours right? BUT NOW ALL THE SINGAPORE POLY PEOPLE WILL GET TO READ THE THINGZ I WROTE ON MY BALLOON. :/ Hahah ohwells.

Sunday was uneventful. Other than joking around in the youth room and trying to study as well.

Hmm. I honestly think my life is a comic strip ): I was going to submit my Med Chem assignment just now, and I put it into Ms Kong's pigeon hole quite unthinkingly. Then I had to come back to hostel, knock on her door and (sheepishly) explain to her what I had done. :/ Not my fault that Ms Kong's pigeon hole is next to Mrs Chong's!!!!! Hahahahahah it's quite funny actually.

Lovelovelove my awesome dcg :D hee. I hope this year bonds us together more, especially since it's combined most of the time, so we'll treasure the "girl-time" we have together. :]

.
I don't know why your name keeps coming up in my conversations with other people - and they tell me things that I'm not sure that I really want to hear. But it answers some questions at least. :D

Lord, you are so amazing. I can't believe this. I REALLY DON'T BELIEVE THERE ARE SUCH THINGS AS COINCIDENCES WHICH MEANS YOU MUST HAVE PLANNED THIS FROM THE START!! This is so so so so so wonderfully cool. :)

Annoyed mode.

2010-02-05T06:09:00.000-08:00

1) I can't believe... I knew that I wasn't thinking too much! Sigh. Okay I don't exactly know what to do. I've apologised, and if you don't want to accept it, then I've really honestly done all that I could. :/

2) And the second thing, to another person - who am I to you, really? Friend? Good friend? Accquaintance? More than that? I can't read your intentions.

3) I feel so spiritually dry in church. It's as if our dcg doesn't have all the right intentions and stuff.. Maybe it's just me, but I want so much not to be lukewarm anymore. I don't want to go to class and joke around and talk nonsense about guys and stuff; that can wait until lunch. I really want to go there to learn more about God. I don't know what I can change, unless I change myself first. And there is so much I need to do.

Upside down!

2010-01-31T21:03:00.000-08:00

Siannnnzzxzxzx Serene's not going for english :(

"You brought friends?"
"NONONONONONO NOT MY BOYFRIEND!!"
So embarrassing to the max :B

Things I'm looking forward to:
- Thursday night (:
- Math test to be OVER
- Valentine's day event - Living God's love (L)
- Maggie mee lunch with Heidi (aka stamp-peeling session?! HAHAH)
- My bedtime tonight. My bed is so inviting and I have to do Math now, rawr.

Carpe Diem!

2010-01-29T06:19:00.000-08:00

Credits: thingsweforget.blogspot.com

Haven't been this happy for a really long time. (:

Thank You for forgiving me even when I know I completely didn't deserve it.
Thank You for making everything possible.
Thank You for being faithful even when I was so faithless.
Thank You for my friends around me who care so much for me.
Thank You for the green light.
Thank You for the miracles in my life.
Thank You for being everything, everything to me.

Ji Eun, Germaine and I talked late into the night about things close to our hearts, things that mattered so much to us. I'm so glad I've got such a cool roommate (!!) and a really wonderful neighbour too :D

I'll trust in your timing, Lord. Grant me patience, help me not to rush things. (:

moment of the year:

2010-01-26T19:32:00.000-08:00

never waited for a reply so anxiously before.

books are good for you (Y)

2010-01-26T01:25:00.000-08:00

By Your Side - Ten Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

Germaine introduced me to this song in her room last night! I find the lyrics so meaningful, as if they were speaking straight to my heart. I really want to learn how to play this song on the guitar! :D 4 chords only. D Em C G (:

Anyways I have so much to do! Finish studying cell bio, UNDERSTAND PHYSICS (roar I'm beginning to wonder why on earth I didn't drop it), understand chem, rah rah alot of things. Not to mention IR presentation and report also, hahahah. Chua and I just came back from NUS, basically we didn't do much except eat at the canteen there and meet Gabriel to get all the analysis results and stuff. Sigh sigh we'll have to make some more trips down.

I like talking to God and telling Him random stuff about my day. And nowadays, He's the only one I can trust with all my feelings and crazy thoughts and rubbish that runs through my head.

Oh I nearly forgot I wanted to post about worship workshop :D I missed boarding games on sunday afternoon but from what I heard, I guess I didn't miss much. Hee anyways workshop was pretty okay. (: Learnt alot from Ps dixon and boss anthony! hahaha.

Okay I'm going down for PE now. byebye

The reasons behind a sigh.

2010-01-20T08:06:00.000-08:00

This post will sound a bit like I'm talking to myself.

sometimes I really want to be Jonah.

I'm glad I got to talk to xxx and find out that xxxxxxx xx xxxxxxx x xxxxx. not that hard to guess what it is, if you know me well enough. 后果肯定不堪设想. I must have been... awfully deluded, for a while there.

SIGH HEIDI WE NEED TO TALK. :(

Sparkling juice!

2010-01-18T04:58:00.001-08:00

Credits: http://www.tumblr.com/tumblupon/xvt5mxq1r

Anyway, I thought this blog was getting pretty dead so I'm here to revive things a little! Mmm yesterday's class outing was quite.. amusing, in a sense. The guys told us we were going to watch a Jackie Chan movie, and they changed their minds when we were there, and we ended up watching.. Daybreakers. Chua didn't even know what show we were watching until we were in the theatre! :O

It was really scary and gory and basically, the first horror movie that I've sat through. Okay it wasn't that frightening actually, it was only after the movie that I started to get paranoid that my friends would turn into vampires and bite me or something. D: Chua and I were huddling together during all the bloody bits, urghhhh. :/

Hahah dinner at lai lai was hilarious. Yuanxi and I couldn't stop laughing at ~~Chinwen~~ 30 year old, seriouslyzx.

"Chinwen is abusing himself." "Hahah, animal abuse."

"Are you sure you don't need to sit down? I thought you just passed your 70th birthday!!"

"You know what we can do for talent search? Send Chinwen up on stage and everyone will start laughing automatically."

Anyways, Chinky and Rachel and I finally managed to have lunch together yesterday(: It was so good to talk to them.

I know... What it feels like to be really tempted to like someone, but never allow yourself to go that far. There's no easy solution, is there? I need to stop talking to you so much urgh.

JC, I know you'll be reading this. I'm not lovesick >:( I'll tell you when I am okay! Hahahahah.

Joke of the century.

2010-01-16T06:34:00.000-08:00

文 says:
意思是我每天反省我自己三件事

(8) Ada(: i'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned. says:
QUITE CLOSE

文 says:
hahaha
wuri saves his body three times???
hahahahahaha

On a more serious side note, I think today's worship prac was really really good. And I needed that time to spend with God, seriously. I talked to Him and really felt Him and everything just came pouring out, for the first time in a long long time especially since I've been so busy lately. Thanks JC! Your worship pracs are always so.. unconventional. :D

Love recklessly.

2010-01-12T07:40:00.000-08:00

Hostel life is crazy fun! I know I get weird stares from people at church when I tell them that, but I'm really enjoying myself here. Ahahah that's 'cause the homework hasn't started pouring in yet. Still, I like going to the games room, talking to people after lights out, rushing for breakfast in the mornings when my eyes are barely open.

Oh, these few days we've been rushing things out for CCA fair :D So choir has this awesomely creative idea.. and I've been stealing all the marbles/magnets that have a defect for my whiteboard :D And I think I've given away quite a few also hahah.

502 is a pretty nice class, since there's Serene and Rachel and Mingyan! (: But the thing is that everyone is so serious and quiet that it's pretty scary. Very competitive. :/ I miss 407....just a bit. Sigh.

Cheer up bernadine!! :)

I never thought that I would love you.

2010-01-06T22:15:00.000-08:00

This will be a year of "firsts". And I'm sure that 2010 will be a wonderful year.

I turned to her and said, "Aren't you glad that humans were born with both heart and mind? If we were all heart, we would be no better than the savages. And if we were all mind and no heart, we would be cold unfeeling robots." And then I paused. "Would you rather go through life having never loved anyone, or love someone unrequitedly?"

There was silence for some minutes, and she answered, "At our age, do we really know for sure what loving someone is like?"

I was silent, because the words I had wanted to say were caught in my throat.

Welcome to adventureland. You don't know for sure what awaits you at each turn. But for once, I'm willing to get on this roller coaster, check out what lies in store for me. :)

you're way out of my league. :/

Abstract post!

2010-01-05T20:51:00.000-08:00

1. I don't want to be the person stuck in the middle, sigh. Talked to Serene and Bernadine about it in their room, and we finally came to a conclusion. It's not even my problem, I shouldn't be the one getting stuck in the middle. ):

2. I'm really really busy and that just happens to be the last thing I need to think about. So I'm sorry if I sounded annoyed on msn with you, because I just haven't thought about it for a very long time, and you know me too well already. I can't stand it how you know almost what I'm going to do next/have done and I don't know a thing about you.

And I'll prove this all wrong.

2010-01-04T06:25:00.001-08:00

:) Hostel is really really fun! Especially with all the crashing each other's rooms and talking after lights out too. :D Hehehe orientation programmes start tomorrow roar. 4 hours of pictionary, my job is super slack.

Okay my laptop battery is dying and my charger is in my room, which happens to be locked 'CAUSE EVERYONE WENT OUT. So I'm in heidi's room now. :/ Byebyee, I hope my iPod is fully charged. (:

What if our hearts were audible?

2010-01-01T08:08:00.000-08:00

Happy new year 2010!! :)

I spent the great part of last night talking to A about B. And then I was reading my conversations with C in C's phone, and I realised how awfully gay I sounded in smses I sent more than a month ago and I was going to delete them off, but I'm not so bad. It's not my phone after all urgh.

My heart is heavy with the weight of tears that I cannot shed.

People come to me with their problems, their burdens that I help them bear, that I carry. Who will shoulder mine, then? Maybe girls are better listeners, I don't know. Maybe D is right after all, liking E is completely absurd and I really shouldn't go down that path.

I deliberately censored all the names in this post.

The ups and downs.

2009-12-29T05:57:00.000-08:00

I went to NUS for IR this morning, which was basically alot of weighing and mixing and swishing stuff together, and crossing my fingers that I haven't added the wrong chemical to the wrong test tube. It ended earlier than I expected, and I went to browse at JE library before heading to jurong point to meet Rachel Ng :D

We ate like pigs at Ichiban Sushi. The food is really value for money - chawanmushi, chicken & cheese, tempura, miso soup, rice, fruits all for $14.90! (: And besides, it was super yummy as well, both of us ate until we could hardly move. It was fun catching up about our lives hahaha, although there still is so much to talk about! Aw man. I'm glad we could still talk and hang out even though we haven't met up for the entire year 'cause of so many committments and stuff.

Oh yeah then we caught Sherlock Holmes too (: It reminded me a bit of Angels and Demons, and I thought it was more of a comedy than a proper show. Had a good laugh too during the entire show :D And also about Rachel's earring.

"Hey, isn't that the earrings that you've been wearing since p1? Didn't you try to change them?"
"Yeah I did! But everytime I did so, my ears got infected."
"Oh right. Your earrings look slightly different though! Why ah?"
"YEAH THEY GOT TWISTED."

It was so hilarious lah! :)

We'll be checking in all our stuff into the hostel tomorrow. Hello 2010, hostel life. I don't know if I'm looking forward to it, but I hope I get a nice cluster and that it'll be fun and I'll have all the self discipline in the world to study. At least, (almost) all the 407 peeps are doing orientation station games together, so fun.

Thanks Shihui and Anthony and Bryce for all the websites/useful info regarding volunteering and stuffs :D Bryce I hope we can find more people too! hahah I already know some who would be interested, provided they don't back out lol. :)

THIS IS SO FUNNY you must watch it!! it's only 5 seconds long and it made me laugh for what, 3 days? xD

won't stop believing.

2009-12-28T14:32:00.000-08:00

I'm not wasting time, because MY PRIORITIES HAPPEN TO BE DIFFERENT FROM YOURS, SO THERE.

wah i had no idea it's so difficult to find volunteer opportunities online -.- i've been surfing and surfing and surfing for the past hour and i can't find anything.

i dont like dental appointments.

Things to do (accomplish) in 2010.

2009-12-28T06:36:00.000-08:00

Blow bubbles at the track.
Play with sparklers at night.
Sit on the field and gaze at the stars.
Learn to love someone, anyone, everyone.
Decorate my hostel room.
Study hard. Chuck stuff into my long term memory, for once.
Put in effort instead of last minute cramming before exams.
Sing in the showers. *winkwink Serene and Bernadine! I hope Ji Eun likes to sing too!
Continue mentoring for worship ministry.
Go for church camp + youth camp.
Go for mission trip.
Do volunteer work somewhere.
Learn to play the guitar.
Do devotions and pray every night.
Trust God no matter what happens, no matter what I may feel.
Be optimistic. :)

there is no one else for me.

2009-12-27T22:49:00.000-08:00

I'll Be Home For Christmas! :) - Mt Carmel Musical 2009

It was so awesome and thank God, really. Everything was so last minute, and I actually only mastered the dances properly on tuesday! Hahah but we got pretty good feedback, and I had so much fun throughout. It's so heartening to see the younger ones step up and participate, makes me wish I was like that in sec1 and 2 too! :) Nevertheless, I'm sure we have a really enthusiastic and passionate batch coming up.

I'm in M10502 :) Okay I know I'm very slow, I didn't have time to post about it for the past week since I've been getting home past 11pm. Hmm not bad, Serene's in my class. :D All the shuper smart and imba people are there too :O

I can't believe the holidays have flown by in such a flurry! First 407 chalet, then youth camp planning + youth camp itself, and then Christmas musical. Coupled with going back to NUS and all the outingzxzx. It hasn't really felt like holidays, honestly.

Feels weird ending the year without going for the youth bbq, hahaha. Somehow I need certain things to end off my year properly, like going to the church rooftop and gazing at the stars and spending that time alone with God. xD

Oh yeah, Ps Dixon returned the new years' resolutions that we had written last year. I forgot about them completely, that we had even written something. :O I hope I can keep my new resolutions for 2010!

So much angst, so much angst. Oh God, please help me, I can't do this on my own.

Strawberry Cheesecake! :)

2009-12-20T06:50:00.000-08:00

Jo, Qingyi and I were hanging out in the youth room today before dance prac, and annoying JC out of his wits :D Okay rather, he annoyed me out of my wits. Wah I cannot stand him, he just kept insulting me with everything he could think of.

Me: Eh can you just shut up. If you go out of this room, I think everyone would be happier.
JC: I think the world would be happier if you put a paper bag over your head.
Me: YOU WATCH OUT. *melees him with the cushions*

Urgh to think I wrote him a very nice christmas card! D: pfftzx. I'm going to add some more stuff to it now that he insulted me. Oh and Jason bakes really nice cheesecakes, hahahah Jo and I ate half of Qingyi's slice. I feel so bad. ):

I can finally get the dance steps! :D :D

I really hope you're not doing this because of me, and that you didn't say it just because I said so too. I really hope your intentions are right. And I know how awful wrong motives can be, because trust me, I've been through this ten thousand times this year already. I don't think you will even read this, but I'm still saying it anyway. So there.

Life is like a box of mixed popcorn. When you want the salty bits, you get the sweet ones. And vice versa. Horrible analogy, but you get what I mean all the same. :)

swish bwish.

2009-12-19T06:30:00.000-08:00

Worship prac was sooo early in the morning today! Hahah then everyone couldn't really think straight. ): I practically spent the whole day in church, and I can forsee this happening for the next week until Christmas is over! :D I guess that's a good thing too, rawr.

Halfway 'round the world,
A missionary kneels,
Wondering who really knows, the loneliness she feels.
For celebrations taking place
Back home this christmas eve,
Into the air, she sends this prayer,
Let Christmas come to me.

Halfway 'round the world,
Sometimes that's how it seems,
when walls of anger keep us from familiar christmas scenes.
We ache for them to disappear,
but don't know how to start,
Lord with your light, somehow tonight,
bring Christmas to our hearts.

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me
Please have snow and mistletoe
and presents on the tree
Christmas Eve will find me
where the lovelight gleams
I'll be home for Christmas
if only in my dreams.

YES I CAN FINALLY MEMORISE ALL MY LYRICS >:) Awesome possum. I CAN GO SLEEP TONIGHT ALREADY BYEBYE.

I can't remember the dance steps though. ):

a little less, and nothing more.

2009-12-18T21:18:00.000-08:00

It's as if I could disappear into thin air, and it wouldn't even make a difference to you. I'm tired of dreaming, and waking up exhausted. And finding that reality for the past 6 hours has just been nothing but a mist.

I've finished writing 19 christmas cards! I'm so efficient and accomplished :D Heehee. It was fun doing cards with Chinky together at my house, we talked so much nonsense.

Seeking God's Heart youthcamp09!

2009-12-17T02:59:00.000-08:00

DAY ONE:

We reported to church at 9.30am, bright and early in the morning! :D I got to know my group through some random ice breaker games that we came up with, and Vanessa + Joanne organised the main icebreakers for everyone. "Polar Bear" hahah! Anyways, Facebook rocks your socks :) Dominic, Jodi, Taro, Kimberly, Vivien, Ruth, Sam Kuek, DJ Becks and Me :D

The morning was rather uneventful other than the games.. and the afternoon games were epic. Hahah we had the rescue the princess aka ANDRE KANG game, and it consisted of memorizing this whole long passage 3words at a time. Not easy okay! And then Facebook bullied their group leader!!! :( They spiked up my hair with 2 gigantic tubes of hairgel. But we won that game hahah 'cause my hair was the longest one after being spiked up straight. It was so disgusting and yucky though D: Unglam pics alert. I think they're gonna be up on facebook (the real one) in no time already. xD

Chinky and I went to the playground and played on the swings and talked, while the rest went to bathe. :P I'm so thankful for her, that I can talk to her about anything in the world, really. :) Then we had dinner + sermon, and the activities that really made me think. Hard. About where my walk with God is. More games + leaders' debrief, and we crashed.

DAY TWO:

The sermon really struck me. Cindy said that we shouldn't hang on to a purpose in life so tightly, that we forget who we're really running after - God. And her words, went to my heart, like a knife.

Dirty games!!! My gosh, that's the only thing I can remember. It was super disgusting. There was twister, and I thought it was normal twister, until Vanessa started putting ketchup on the red spots, FLOUR AND SOYA SAUCE on the blue spots, carrots and tartar sauce on the yellow spots, and celery on the green spots. Eww yuck, my pink shorts were completely covered with icky stuffs after that. Hahah and all the camera-people started photographing my butt. HAHAH.

Mm and we had dog-and-bone with expired fish and dirty gross curry coloured stuffs. Completely barbaric xD But Venezia's so gonna get it from me, 'cause she pushed my head down into the ketchup in twister. Water bombing was fun and refreshing though, for a change. And I got very badly sunburnt and a sandal tan too! ):

MSA at night - Jason and I were evil station masters, we hid the clues for our station in really un-guessable places. Like in the swing and we had decoys also. Their faces were priceless when they found the decoys! >:D Quite fun hanging out in the playground in the dark. The place looks completely different!

Hahah OH YEAH I GOT ADDICTED TO FUJI APPLE (: awesome drink.

DAY THREE:

East Coast Park in the morning hehe. :D We played in the beach, and jumped over the waves and were just kids for that hour. Facebook intended to fly kites! But in the end, I don't know what happened to our plans. SAM KUEK'S BOOK OF QUOTES!!!!

Hahah, and then we had so much free time after getting back to church, so we played annoying scam games like Latest Fashion in Paris, and the Bang-bang who died, and Fuzzy Wuzzy and the MRT Line game. Black Magic, my favourite! whoo hoo. :D

Sermon was pretty okay (: And more free time! I love free and easy time. But I got very stressed out, planning the stuffs for MSA, 'cause Jason was flying off to Korea. I spoilt alot of it for Chinky, hahah! Then I called Joel and made him come early with all the stuffz too. :D

Steamboat dinner - but I didn't eat much. :/ And then it was MSA! I was running up down left right centre trying to settle everything hahah. Oh yeah our station was shuper hilarious. We had this mini-station called "Popularity" and I had a poster of Show Luo, and on the other side was a very skimpily dressed Katy Perry. Then Joel held up the wrong side of the poster!!! The groups kept laughing, and he didn't even know why. xD

He brought his kiddy photos too 'cause I needed them, suuuuper cute! Aww man I think all kids are really cute. :D Uhm then after MSA, I talked to Mark-mon for a while regarding his trust walk station hehe, and we went downstairs for the midnight barbecue. Anthony was being a pyromaniac and so was Joel, and they were trying to build rockets out of sparklers. How weird was that! O:

I got suanned alot about my school -.- but their rockets failed anyways, they just burned up on the spot. Hahah Anthony made us scream alot. Like, EH COCKROACH! and pretending to pull me off the railing and stuff. So Chinky and I screamed our lungs out ): We played on the swing, and talked about so many things. (:

Oh yeah just remembered something! Hahah when Chinky and I were dancing around with the sparklers, Kenji-chan stood in my way, and I accidentally poked his specs with my sparkler. It was quite scary, but hilarious after that. It's a good thing he's short sighted, or I don't even want to imagine what could have happened. D:

And then I went back to the dorm and wrote notes to all my group members :D In the end, slept at 4+am. Hahah rawr.

DAY FOUR:

We laid down all the possessions that we were holding too dear in front of the cross. And the moment I did so, the tears came pouring down. I don't even know why I cried, it was like a reflex action.

Amazing race was totally fun :D It was nice playing the Wii at Matthew and Joel's house, and then gulping down laksa. Mygosh, that was totally killer. Laksa with 5 spoonfuls of chilli! Airika was being so sadistic, but Taro drank all the soup. He's really our hero hahah! And then we played Laser Tag at Botanic gardens, and ate strawberry sorbet at Island Creamery. :D

Very fun, but awfully tiring as well.

IM SO THANKFUL FOR YOUTH CAMP NEVERTHELESS. (: I had a really awesome time. (:

and I'm caught in between.

2009-12-16T06:35:00.000-08:00

Today we had a kind-of quarter-class outing. We were supposed to meet at 1pm at queensway shopping centre, but I woke up at 1.30pm! Hahah thanks to chinwen's sms. And then I got there in record time at 2.40pm. (: We printed the shirt, and I made them hunt around for monobo the slippers shop with me. :/ I think it's either closed down or moved to somewhere else arghh.

Then we hung out at jurong point and watched AVATAR 3D! Shengze and I introduced Chin Wen to his taiwan cuisine. :D I love the bubble tea. :)

Last night I dreamt I was taking a chinese exam, and I didn't know about it until 15min before the paper. And even so, instead of studying, I was writing a love letter to the most unlikely person on earth. Then I rushed to the hall, and the invigilator told me my seat number in chinese, and I couldn't comprehend what she was saying. So I just randomly dashed in, and sat down where all the class people were seated. It was such a nightmare. D:

I really don't think this is right.

Swing your problems away.

2009-12-13T06:50:00.000-08:00

Will we be back to strangers, and nothing more?

I swear I saw your heart in your eyes.

Because I am stupid.

2009-12-12T06:26:00.000-08:00

I feel very lazy to post about youth camp! But I've already typed out day one, until the hair gelling part. O:

My dad keeps watching the hong kong channel, seriously. I don't understand what they're talking about in the background -.- And then he said, "Eh feels like we're in hong kong right!" So I told him to switch to the jap channel, and feel as if we're in japan. Hahah he's still watching the funny absurd show. D:

So many people are going off overseas! Sam Kuek + Ronald + Benjamin left for hong kong. Qingyi's going there too... soon. Heidi's going for her mission trip. Vivien is in Penang. Joel and Matt Lau are flying off to Egypt.

I don't know what to think about Mr. Heylook. ):

wear your heart on your sleeve.

2009-12-11T06:06:00.000-08:00

Today, as I knelt down, I placed down everything I held dear. Everything that mattered so much to me, at the foot of the cross. I laid down all my earthly treasures, and it wasn't until I did so, that I realised the full meaning of what I repeated to group after group last night.

And then the tears came and they wouldn't stop, when I realised how much I was holding on to, and how worthless they were, in comparison to what God has in store for me.

I'll post about the youth camp another day (:

Lead me on, and I will run after You.

2009-12-07T04:13:00.001-08:00

Mixed feelings.

Got up bright and early in the morning for group leaders/ assistant group leaders meeting in church. :) We all sat around and shared our thoughts, and I'm both nervous and excited? Hahah. Nervous 'cause it's my first time handling so many things - usually I'm a just-pack-for-camp and hang around kinda person. Now I'm gonna have to be enthusiastic and Ra-Ra! Excited.. because well, I like youth camp alot. :D

Chinky and I talked a great deal. Mm about random stuffs, mostly. The mosttt retarded thing happened to me yesterday! Rawr, by the way, I still don't know what I'm going to do about it. Hahah.

Then headed off to Ao's house to do the class tee design. (: The guys kept laughing at my horrible chinese. :( Chua and I left before dinner. I wonder if they've met Tricia and what they're doing now? Oh yeah, I should stop walking like a gangsta. Hahaha.

I guess I'll have time during the next 4 days to slowly sort out my thoughts and quieten my heart, and just think through stuffs.
I have 24 more days to the end of the year. Surely I can keep my resolution now! But it's so hard when my heart tells me otherwise. :/ Did I ever mean anything to you?

edit: I am so tired, so so so so tired. I'm doing it all for You, Lord. please give me the strength. I can't possibly go to camp when I've been coughing every night. I really need the strength. Please.

GOOD BYE! (: i'm off for youth camp! don't miss me too much yeah. (: